What Cycle-Breaking Really Looks Like in Everyday Parenting

Cycle-breaking can sound big and heavy, like something that only happens in therapy offices or after a huge life event. The truth is, it often happens in tiny, everyday moments like choosing something different in the middle of the ordinary chaos.

Maybe it’s pausing before you raise your voice because you remember how small you felt when someone yelled at you as a child. Maybe it’s letting your child explain why they’re upset instead of brushing it off with “You’re fine.” It can even be as simple as apologizing when you mess up and showing your child that making amends is normal.

Here are a few ways cycle-breaking might look in real life:

• Asking your child how they feel and really listening to the answer.
  
  

• Creating predictable routines so your child feels secure.
  
  

• Allowing space for big feelings without punishment or shame.
  
  

• Setting boundaries with love, even when it’s hard.
  
  

• Choosing connection over control during difficult moments.
  
  

Cycle-breaking is not an overnight transformation. It’s a gradual shift that builds over time. Every small change creates a ripple effect that reaches far beyond the moment.

When you start to notice those moments, you realize they’re not only helping your child feel safe and seen, they’re also helping you heal parts of yourself.

If this speaks to you, my book Breaking the Parenting Cycle was created as a gentle guide to keep that process going, with foundational insights, daily guided prompts, and reflections that meet you exactly where you are. Because change starts with one choice, repeated in a hundred small ways.